All you have to do is fill in a bunch of numbers on the first column of the first worksheet and the sheet does the rest. I use random.org's Integer Generator to give me a nice big column of numbers 1-100 and then just copy paste them into the sheet all in one go. Here's a link to a generator of 300 to make it even easier.
All of the descriptions on the data sheet are from Ian's awesome table; they get pulled into the first sheet when you fill out the column. All of the stats are whatever garbage I made up. You may want to replace them if you copy the sheet to use because I don't have any kind of intrinsic thought about what skeleton stats should be; I just put seemed good to me (LotFP frame of reference).
HP gets rerolled every time you update the sheet (and apparently whenever you load the sheet) so you may want to get everything set before you pay it too much mind. The "Special" column is pulled from data but the "Special 2" column is editable for when you want to specify what kind of magic shield or wand or whatever the skeleton has. You should definitely use Papers & Pencils d100 wands and d100 staves tables to help with that. I may use Dan D's table of magic masks as crowns stand-ins, too.
I hope this has some use for folks.
If I'm super wrong about old school skeleton stats you can tell me and I will learn something!
Caleb, Fighter 3 (Just Yolks) Jewel, Really Good Dog 3 (Rudy) Buddy, ratter dog
Karl Gelt, Exiled Prince 1 (Helpful Waffle) Tenkos, Cleric 3 [plague doctor kit] (Sugarplum)
Viggo Marklund, Specialist 3 [bounty hunter kit] (Peanut Butter)
Last time the party talked to some dogs, got some info about mean squirrels and big people rocks in the woods, met a cagey woman who knows a lot more than she lets on, dug up an elevator, and went 150 feet under the dirt down to the bottom of the shaft.
Sidenote: We had a bunch of technical difficulties getting started trying to get a new video solution working since appear.in decided to start charging $10 a month. Boo. Glad Discord got video chat all rolled out. It's not as good, but it's the right price.
The players were incredibly cautious here. They took Wiebke's torches and then did a quick inventory of other light sources. Turned out only Viggo was carrying any, giving them a total of 8 for a devle of indeterminate length.
Sidenote: this continued a trend of somehow only Viggo having adventuring gear. Going down the elevator he was the only one with any rope (they had to run back to town to get more). Before that he was the only one with a shovel to dig out the elevator (good thing Jewel had scrounged up those mangy squirrel chasing dogs or Viggo would have been digging for a while). I think maybe it all just came with the bounty hunter kit [edit: nope, just the rope] but it still cracks me up that Viggo seems like the only prepared and practical one.
Jewel sent her doggerling ahead. Even though she liked Buddy a lot more than the other ones she had that's not going to stop her from sacrificing him if need be. No horrible traps though!
They went down the hall, encountering four sets of paired statues every thirty feet or so. They deduced that the statues were meant to hold torches but the poses of the statues were warning against entering entering. The last pair of statues were half again as tall as a person and quite imposing but they continued on after a brief hesitation.
The next section of the passage was extra quiet, like all the sound was muted. On either side were dozens of holes from floor to ceiling. They checked into a few before deciding that their primary purpose was to sonically separate the elevator from the rest of the dungeon. Eventually the passage opened ahead at the edge of their torchlight. They lit another torch and tossed it as far as they could, illuminating a cluster of columns surrounding a large dais. On the dais was a huge statue of a humanoid. The overall shape of the statue was not well defined (think Batman cartoon's Clayface) but there was a carved chunk missing at the neck where a head would go.
They were hesitant to enter, especially when they saw some skeletons on the other side of the room carting rubble and stone from one exit to another.
They came in 1. Dais in the middle, columns around it. Skeletons take rubble from 3 to 4. 6 is stairs up. Jewel says hi ;)
Since the skeletons didn't pay them any mind, just kept carting rocks and whatnot, the party decided to head up the stairs, looking for a quicker way out than the elevator they came down on. As they traveled up the stairs the amount of dirt and rubble increased until eventually the got dead-ended in a cave-in of dirt and rock. Along the way however they past a series of murals on either side of the hallway. Paraphrasing, it went like this:
Group of people sealing a tomb with an ornate coffin in it
Same group of people wrapping a restrained man in some kind of bandages or similar
Huge battle, living against the dead
Isolated incidents and attacks
Restrained man from earlier doing experiments with the dead
Same guy pouring over "evil wizard books"
Disappointed, they went back down the stairs in 6 and moved over to 5, trying to keep their distance from the skeletons. They heard them still moving around but didn't have any kind of trouble so they pressed on. They moved past a large set of double doors (no horrible traps, no locks!) and into a huuuuuge hall. There were tables upon tables, all set for a feast (any food long since turned to dust), and tons of weapons and racks lining the sides of the room. They moved cautiously through, theorizing that this was some kind of feast hall for the victorious warriors.
At the end of the feast hall they came to another door, of sorts. This one was a massive disc of stone, set into grooves in the floor, with no obvious way to move it.
Like this but solid stone and bigger than the hole and set in a groove and okay it's not that much like this apart from the shape.
The front was incredibly smooth, so they couldn't get a handhold on it. They tried pushing, thinking it would revolve around a center point. Nope. Finally one of the player went and got some of the polearms from the weapon racks and tried to wedge it into the gap between the circle and the groove. A few of them got to work and were able to get enough leverage to slowly work the disc out of the way, into the side.
This time they found a much much smaller feast hall with much nicer tableware. They scooped up as much as they could stuff in a sack and went toward the back of the hall. Hanging prominently at the rear, each behind a head table, were five very ornate and well made tapestries. Each one had a single, prominent figure in the middle with a battle going on in the background, similar to the murals seen before.
They debated maybe two minutes the possibility that the tapestries were trapped or cursed before taking them off the wall, rolling them up, and hoisting them on shoulders. So far their ideas for the tapestries are:
Burn the tapestries because maybe they're cursed
Throw them at skeletons
Wrap up the skeletons in the tapestries
.....
They ended the session carrying a bunch (5) of rolled up fancy tapestries and a bulging sack of fancy silverware. Now to see whether they investigate further or run with what they got. Someone cue up The Clash.
Sidenote: First real outing of Logan Knight's light rules from the fantastic Sleeping Place of the Feathered Swine (how many times do I have to tell you go buy that thing it's so fun). I made mine a little more forgiving, but so far this is their torch status (yes they only have 8 and four came from the torchbearer).
Claus Drexol, Magic-User 4 (Vegas) Wiebke Bott, linklady and magical initiate Jewel, Really Good Dog 2 (Rudy) Buddy, ratter dog
Karl Gelt, Exiled Prince 1 (Helpful Waffle) Tenkos, Cleric 2 [plague doctor kit] (Sugarplum)
Viggo Marklund, Specialist 2 [bounty hunter kit] (Peanut Butter)
Last time the party traveled north out of Bremmlecht to The Crossroads, got a dog rumor about dead bodies digging down into the dirt, met the local priest, and dug up two (empty!) graves while she wasn't looking.
The party weren't exactly sure what to do next after their initial digging seemed to confirm some aspects of the dog rumor. They wanted to get more information about the town so they were on the lookout for a mayor or town elder or something. After realizing that The Crossroads barely qualified as a town their plan boiled down to "look for old people / dogs."
Jewel helped them track down a pretty old lady at the Sapphire Pipe Rose, the fanciest inn with the best location. She then sauntered off looking for a really old dog to talk to. She found one that tried to get her to live the easy life of scraps out behind the inns with him but no luck. He pointed her to a few dogs that had strange run-ins out in the woods despite being told not to go out there and she started back towards the center of the crossroads.
Meanwhile at the Sapphire Rose, a serving woman named Horga warmly welcomed Claus and Karl into the establishment while graciously allowing Viggo, Tenkos, and Wiebke to enter as well. There was an older woman sitting by the fireplace drinking tea but they instead went to the bar, playing it cool.
Playing it cool, that is, until Claus opened up by loudly wondering if anyone else had heard about the bodies disappearing from the graveyard in Teutonitopia! A woman next to him at the bar takes the bait, elbowing him and getting into a full on gossip session. She hadn't heard about any local troubles but farther south she guessed that the troubles in Teutonitopia were due to wizards pursuing illicit magics contrary to the law of the land! She was headed north to the city of Anstholm, purported last bastion of independent Tannemaark culture and possessed of a somewhat rebellious spirit.
Convinced that the traveler couldn't give him much else, Claus moved to sit down with the old woman, Lady Margaret.
"Good afternoon my dear, you must be the rose!"
"Oh dear, surely you know that you're not the first to have tried that line."
Her prickly rejoinder belied a desire for company and conversation, and they got to talking. Wiebke and Tenkos stayed by the bar, not wanting to throw off Claus' more noble air, while Karl took a seat where he could hear their conversation but also keep an eye on the room, looking for any reactions. He also took some time to inspect the inn's namesake jeweled rose, sitting on the mantel glinting in the sun. It looked real enough, and would have been worth a fortune.
Claus went back and forth with Lady Margaret, poking for information, but she poked right on back, asking about what kind of travelers they are and what they're doing at The Crossroads still after already spending a night there. Claus said something vague and plausible and she prodded some more, eventually inviting them all for a more private chat in the back room. They were interrupted by Jewel's special "hey come talk to me!" bark from outside, however, and Claus begged a few moments to retrieve their things from the other inn to move over to the Sapphire Rose.
Jewel had found the dogs that had gone into the forest and really wanted to talk to them with everyone else. During one of Claus' previous castings of comprehend languages she had established some kind of paw signal to cast the spell itself and a particular bark to let the party know that she needs them to come. They found her now outside of the Sapphire Rose with three dirty mangy dogs. She did not look happy.
Their fancy hat-wearing armored up really good dog companion her human companions and (very annoying) new dog friends down the road a bit, giving Claus time to read his books a bit and get the spell ready that would allow him to understand Jewel (and maybe these other dogs).
Sidenote: Claus always leaves his level 2 spell slots open in case he needs to take a turn to prep comprehend languages to talk to Jewel.
They pull off the road a bit and Jewel is visibly agitated. When Claus finishes the spell he understands why because these dogs are idiots and will. not. shut. up. Apparently "HATDOG" (Jewel) has promised them a lot of meat if they tell her and the man-people about the big people rocks that they found out in the lots of trees place.
Sidenote: This is one of the most fun times I have had with NPCs ever. Thanks Rudy for putting up with all these stupid stupid dogs.
Kind of like this but the dogs. Insert "HATDOG" every six words or so. If the time in the link doesn't work go to 50s.
Sidenote: I spent way too much time trying to find an example of what was in my head for these dogs. This was the closest thing I could find after going down a tangent path of "fast tapping" videos and giving up.
Eventually they get that there were some "big people rocks" out in the woods next to a big tree with squirrels in it. And they almost got the squirrels but then they ran up the tree! The struggle is real. Party theorized that the "big people rocks" might be some kind of foundation for a building or something like that. Claus tossed a bunch of jerky rations to the dogs, they expressed feverish gratitude to HATDOG some more, and the party realized that they had left Lady Margaret hanging to go and talk to some dogs.
They hurried back, transferred their belongings to the Sapphire Rose, and ALL (including Jewel) went into the back room. There's a bit of cagey dance, some very pointed comments from Lady Margaret's part about their very strange dog (and her awesome hat!), and then the group eventually laid it all out on the table about their investigation into this rumor about the bodies digging down in the graveyard. In return, Margaret told them what she knew of the Crossroads.
Her family was the first to build an inn here
The land here all belongs to the lord of Letath (edge of the fief)
The Crossroads started to gain more prominence 150 years ago at the start of the War of the Three Kingdoms
Letath also got more prominent then due to trade embargo with Ghallia
Magic was sharply limited after the war but always vague rumors of magical activity in remote places
It also became very clear to the party that Lady Margaret was a woman who had an eye on everyone as they passed through and maintained a keen interest in any information she could come by. She picked out Viggo as a bounty hunter right away, for example, and made some inferences about Karl and Claus as well. Potential downside to a relationship with her for Karl is that Margaret does not want the local priest to gain any prestige or influence and the young noble was hoping to do just the opposite. First things first though, bodies digging in the dirt!
They followed the mangy dogs down the road with Viggo in the rear, keeping an eye out for anyone who might be following them for Lady Margaret. They don't see anything and continue on into the woods. The dogs were distracted on several occasions by squirrels but Jewel kept them in line, eventually arriving at the "big squirrel tree with big people rocks in the ground."
What they actually found was a series of large stone blocks in a circle next to the tree, just below the dirt.
Kind of like this but a full circle of the stones with a ~10 ft diameter.
They got to digging in the middle of the circle. Viggo was the only one who had brought a shovel but Jewel told the dogs (with some samples from Claus) that they would get more meat if they helped to dig. She stood on the side of the growing pit, lording her doggy helpers over Viggo's exertions with the shovel. At about seven feet down, Viggo hit wood. Their job complete, Jewel told Claus to kill the dogs.
Sidebar: Rudy had to leave at this point so he wasn't able to have Jewel exert any more influence over the dogs' fate than this.
Instead, Viggo helped the dogs out, Claus gave them some extra jerky, and they ran back towards the crossroads! Aw good doggos, good job.
The wood in the pit was uniform and sounded hollow with the exception of an eight foot circle in the middle. Claus, Tenkos, and Karl observed from the top of the pit while the wizard sent Wiebke in to assist Viggo. In for a penny in for a pound, Viggo used his axe to hack a hole in the wood and Wiebke shined her torch in.
Not seeing anything immediately murderable / murdertastic, Viggo and Wiebke hopped in. The wood continued all around the walls with a single gap facing the stones. In the center there's a large column with eight slots evenly spaced around its circumference. An equal number of poles, a few broken, are strewn about the floor. They slot up the wooden poles into the slots, get everyone in, and eventually figure out after pushing on them all together that it's a corkscrew elevator version of the wheel of paint.
WHEEL OF PAIN
They tied off their only 50 ft rope to the giant squirrel tree and down into the hole and started turning the corkscrew.
The rope ran out. They briefly lamented letting the stray dogs go instead of keeping them around to be killed and eviscerated to turn their guts into ropes if the situation got desperate enough! "We gotta keep going, right?!" said Claus.
That lasted only about another 10 feet. They moved the elevator back up and sent Karl to climb up what they had and go back and buy some more rope. He came back with another 100 feet and an extra pint of lamp oil. They continued down, getting dangerously close to the bottom of their now 150 ft of rope before the opening in the wooden enclosure began to reveal a gap in the stones surrounding them. They brought the elevator all the way down, felt it connect with the floor, and stared down a wide stone hallway. Wiebke's torch didn't cast light too far but they could see some alcoves on the side up ahead, and the session ended.
